Back at it

I've started to get back at it. Oh you've heard this a million times? True, I am definitely notorious for saying things and not doing them. But this time I'm not telling you at the very start of my journey, I am telling you this after a month and a half of already doing it. I have lost just over 13 pounds since I started on July 22nd.

I have been eating better. Watching portion sizes and cutting back on the bad foods that I shouldn't be eating in the first place. I have always been a big water drinker but now I drink even more water, I'm practically a fish! Ha.

I try to go to the gym once a day for an hour at least. Burning anywhere between 500-600 calories. This has been so wonderful. I joined the YMCA and they have exercise classes that you can take for free. When I first started going to the gym I relied on these because I didn't necessarily want to be going to the gym in the first place and these would keep me focused and moving for the whole hour.

But what really got me started this time around, besides my bored-ness, was a website called Diet Bet. With this site you bet money that you will lose a certain amount of weight. Either 4% in 4 weeks or 10% in 3 months. I LOVE it! I 'won' my first bet. It was a $30 bet and I ended up getting $53. That's $23 extra for just losing 9lbs! Not to mention that there is so much support!

Well there is that. Just popping in to say hello.

Talk to you soon.

Wow

I am notorious for starting blogs, posting a couple and then just abandoning ship. Ha-ha kind of like these ‘diets’ I start too it seems.

And like I have probably posted in the past we are in a new year and I am going to make changes. I can’t stand the thought of resolutions and I don’t like goals. Despite the fact that everyone seems to say that people need to set goals. But the other day, I read something along the lines of – you’re unhappy until you reach your goal, then you are unhappy because you realize that even though you reached your goal you are still unhappy, and if you don’t meet your goal well then you’re unhappy you didn’t. So I am not going to consider this a goal or a resolution that only 24% of people who actually make New Year’s Resolutions succeeds in… No, this journey I’m going to embark on will be considered a change.

I am making a change in my life. I like to think that I like change. Or honestly it is probably that I don’t know what I want so I keep changing my mind, which I now call change instead of indecision. But I have decided that I don’t like this style of living.

I am fat. I will say it. I know it. I love myself anyways, but I’m tired of being lonely. I think I am a great catch. I have a great sense of humor, I am smart, friendly, despite my waist line I’m quite attractive if I do say so myself. Considering all of this the only thing that I can think is that I need to lose some weight. I need that change in my life.

How am I going to do it? Diet and exercise of course…. But I don’t want to. I love food. I am a pastry chef for goodness sakes, I HAVE to taste food. I can’t cut out food groups from my diet. And exercise … I can’t afford the gym oh and did I mention that I’m about to work long crazy hours at a bakery? So, a strict diet of meat and nuts is out as well as making 24 hour fitness my home for 6 months.

I need a plan. My plan. To eat what I want because lets get real – if this is going to actually be a change I stick with it needs to be realistic. Well, Shianne, isn’t that what you’ve been doing? Well yes. BUT. Not in moderation. My problem is that I feel like I need to finish the plate. That I need to eat everything on the plate and if I don’t it’s an insult to the cook or a waste of money. But slowly I’ve come to terms with the fact that if I’m going to have to eat less and keep track. Yes, the dreaded calorie count. If only for a month or two. I need to be conscience of what I am putting in my body. Since food alone isn’t the reason I’m fat… I need to also exercise. I always give myself every excuse in the book to avoid this. So I guess I’m going to just have to do it. There is no other way. Start small? Well duh! I’m on my way to get some little dumbbells right now (well in a bit). This will help when I’m sitting there making excuses about not going for a run instead thinking that I need to catch up on my guilty pleasure TV shows. A little goes a long way right?

So I started yesterday. This morning weighing at 236. Gah. About 30lbs from my highest. About 86lbs from my fantasy. In 6 months’ time, I go back home. I am IN a wedding. I need to look good. I want to be able to go to the beach and not worrying about hurting people’s eyes by the way I look. Being able to go into a random store in the mall and be able to buy clothes off the rack in a department not labeled as ‘Women’s’ aka PLUS SIZE is my birthday present to myself.

I’m going to try as hard as I can to keep up with this. I sorta like typing out my feelings… not to mention I’m a fan of this quiet coffeehouse I just discovered.

 

Shianne.

 

PS. ironically enough, the post below this is from a year ago. Young Shianne telling you of her promises to lose weight and her goals for the future. Here's to not falling into that trap again.

New Year. New Me.

Although I started my New Year off with a nice little fit of cussing, I have decided to make some New Year resolutions.
I'm sure the first will come to you as no surprise - I want to lose weight. And this time, even though it is always this time, I will succeed. See usually I make these decisions at night. When the gym is closed. When I'm about to go to sleep. But it is just barley lunch and I'm turning a new leaf. There is no tomorrow there is just today and so many more today's in the future. I weighed just now with a BMI of 40.46 and 252 pounds. I'm not gonna crash diet. I'm not gonna count calories. None of that has proven to work out for me. Instead I will eat what I want to eat .... The difference - I will eat in moderation, I will make compromises, if I want a cheeseburger then I will eat it, but I'm not gonna eat the fries it comes with or have the dessert my friend insisted on ordering... I also need to move more. Whether that means working out at the gym, parking further away from the door, going for walk with friends or even alone. Whatever little bit helps.
I want to stop cussing so much.
I want to have a more positive outlook.
I want to blog more.
I want to address problems that I am having - either with myself or others.
And one that I cannot control as much - I want to find someone, I want to have my first kiss, my first official date, my first boyfriend.

:) well Happy New Year to you. Hope it is full with joy.

Shianne

Tonight's workout

I want to first tell you that it is so much easier to work out with a friend. Or at least for me it is.... And I think that is because without them to say that we are going to workout I don't do it. With that said, I like to make it a competition at the gym. Whether it be unsuspecting random people on the machines next to me or the friend I went with... I silently judge where they are, how fast they are going, if they are out of breath, I match their stride then speed up... No one knows ... No one cares.... And its my inspiration so it works.

So tonight's work out.... Posted is a picture of a color run running schedule. I have started to "train" for next year's run. So for today's run it was 1 minute running then 1.5 minutes walking. And I LOVED it. I thought it was so easy and I was so impressed with myself! Since this run only adds up to 20 minutes I did some extra tuning/walking to make it 30. Then I did arms and did some of the machines we have at the gym. I really wanted to do lunges and suicides but the gym floor was being used....

Tomorrow, I'm going to attempt to get up early and do p90x. But if that fails because I want my sleep (which happens often) then I will go to the gym after work. Where in the past I would snicker and doubt that from the get go... Not anymore.... For some unknown reason I've had a change of heart.
Well that's it for now.

I'm Back

Its been.... awhile. But here I am. I cant stay away from losing weight because it is a constant thing in my life. I want to be able to walk into ANY store and be able to find a cute pair of jeans that fits and that isn't happening. Today, my weight is .... dumb roll please.... 254 pounds. So I am 12 pounds down from March. And like I keep telling myself, it could be worse. I could be moving in the other direction and gaining weight. So as long as the number is going down even if it is ever so slightly its still going lower.

Earlier this month, my friend and I decided to make a lifestyle change and to be more active and although I haven't made a full change I'm slowly getting there. I have been eating better... Cutting down the fried foods and trying to eat leaner meat. But I'm not going to lie. It is so hard. Not only because I LOVE to cook and there is my addiction to food... but because I'm influenced my the people I surround myself with a lot. I'm not blaming them for the peer pressure (for the lack of a better word) but myself for lacking the will power to say no. When they say "lets go get ice cream," I say OK because I love ice cream. And where I may have gotten a huge bit in the past, I, now at least, get the smallest serving. So its sorta better....

Either way... I'm going to try and blog more.... because I feel that this may keep me accountable. The reason I have stopped other blogs is because I feel the pressure of 'having' (even though I have no readers...) to keep writing and the want goes away. But I think that the pressure in this case will keep me motivated because if there's one thing I lack in my life it is motivation.

Well tata, on with my day.

Weightly Depressed...

So, Its been 12 days... sorry. My best friend was in town so any free time has been taken up by fun times with her. :)

Anyways, what Ive been doing... Kinda depressed (NOTE: when I say depressed I dont mean like actually depressed I just mean that I am not my normally happy self.) Mainly because I started my new job and I cant fit into my chef clothes from school... I have gained 40 pounds at most and I guess a couple sizes since school in September and that is very depressing to me. Kinda makes me sad. On top of that I was looking at pictures of myself from that time and I look so much skinner... mind you I was still in the 200's just not at 266...

On a lighter note (haha funny- lighter) ... I went on an hour walk with my sister today and hopefully will work out tonight. Tomorrow I have a 5 mile walk planned for us! My mom got these new ab ripper dvds so I am going to try those out. I was tracking my calories but stopped that a couple weeks ago. I must get back on that and that starts tomorrow.

I want to also try eating more salads... mainly because that is the healthiest thing that I can think of right now. I have to eat at least 1200 calories minium (because that is how many calories your body needs to survive daily) and hopefully with that and exercise will help me shead some pounds... because I just cant weight any longer....

10 Commandments of Weight Loss

I would like you to know that I did not make these up. Dr. Oz, however, did, so he deserves all the credit.

1. Thou Shalt Not Wear Pants that Stretch
Your clothing is an early-warning system for weight gain. When it's getting hard to snap your jeans, you know it's time to be vigilant. Wearing stretchy clothes allows you to live in ignorance of how your body is growing, making it easier to pack on pounds without knowing it. Luckily, I dont own stretchy pants. All my jeans button... My work out pants are stretchy though and I am going to say this is alright.

2. Thou Shalt Not Keep Fat Clothes in Your Closet
When you keep the clothes you wore at an unhealthy weight, it gives you a back-up plan if the pounds don't come off. Instead, force yourself to stay on track by 86ing your "fat pants." I am wearing my fat clothes. I have skinny clothes that I keep though... I wonder if this counts as well...

3. Thou Shalt Not Eat Meat That Walks on Four Legs More Than Once a Week
Meat that comes from an animal with 4 legs is higher in saturated fat (the unhealthy kind) than that which comes from 2-legged animals such as chickens, or animals with no legs, like fish. Plus: women who eat large amounts of red meat more than once a week have a 50% higher chance of dying from heart disease and have higher cancer rates. Wow... this is put in such an odd way. But I am usually a chicken person so no worries here...

4. Thou Shalt Not Graze
Plan your meal before you open the refrigerator, get what you need, and close the door. Opening it throughout the day leads to impulsive choices and overeating. This is where I go down hill... I am horrible at grazing, I could have just ate and I am back in the kitchen. When there is a commerical, I am in the kitchen. Whether or not I actually eat something or not its the fact that that is my go to place.

5. Thou Shalt Not Eat After 7:30pm
When you eat late at night you are more likely to be eating in front of the TV (when you won't pay attention to how much you're putting in your mouth) and you're more likely to pick high-calorie snacks. This is a great rule. I will implement this into my life.

6. Thou Shalt Not Pile Food More than 1 Inch High or Within 2 Inches of the Plate Edge
Larger portions equal more calories. 'Nuff said. I am not usually a piler... but I do go back for seconds which is kind of the same thing...

7. Thou Shalt Not Chew Food Less than 20 Times Per Bite
Chewing allows your body to realize that you are eating food, prompting it to create a sensation of fullness at the appropriate time. When you don't chew enough, you get ahead of that process, eating well past when you are actually satisfied. I heard that it was 27 times per minute. But regardless of the amount
of chews. The reasoning makes sense. Although, I usually lose count, it prevents me from shoveling more food into my mouth.

8. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Plate
Spend your day nibbling bites on someone else's sandwich or afternoon snack, and you will add on 1,000 calories easy. Eat only your food. Check I can do that.

9. Thou Shalt Not Carry Small Bills
Nothing loves a small bill better than a vending machine. When you have them at the ready, you are one step closer to an impulsive, calorie-loaded afternoon slip up. I am not into vending machine food. Even at the store I rarley get candy.

10. Thou Shalt Not Eat While Standing Up
Eating sitting down enables you to be aware of what you're eating and eat it slowly so that your body can tell you your full before it's too late. I am very guilty of this rule too.

I find it surprising that out of the 10 commandments of Dr. Oz I am only really gulity of 2 of them. But regardless of that fact I am still super over weight.

NEW GOAL: Stop Grazing...